Post-aches and Grading

Writing productivity comes in spurts (as a quick glance through this blog history clearly shows) and this generally correlates to the times when I least should be spending my time flapping my jaw (or my fingers against the keyboard as the case may be). However, I feel like the five hours spent out grading and planning tonight earned me some finger flapping time.
Well, grades are due again in less then a week (I know what you are thinking... didn't that happen like 3-4 weeks ago? Yes! It did! And that was so much fun we decided to do it AND parent conferences again almost exactly 1 month later! Woohoo!) As you can no doubt tell I am super thrilled about this. I mean, what's not to love? Yet another chance to tell students that who they are and what they know can be condensed into 4 letters belonging to vague acronyms and 1500 characters worth of scripted blabbing! It seems my tirades about the evils of grades and labels are falling on deaf ears here... shocker... what would we do without grades to point to as signifiers of success? Their next years teachers might have to assume that all of their students are brilliant and teachable little geniuses, and if psychological studies are to be believed, they might actually prove that to be a correct assumption!
Actually the last time my rant was aired at a team meeting the response back from one of my bosses was 'well, we have to give them grades at some point. I mean, it's really more for the parents then anyone else.' So I guess my get-rid-of-all-grades scheme is going to have to wait until I successfully brainwash the parental generation... ;)
Re-reading that I'm thinking maybe it's time to get some sleep so I can go teach the parts of the atom and the forms of energy to my 9 year olds tomorrow with maybe a tad less sarcasm then is dripping from this post. :)
Then again... the biggest compliment from my students today: "Ms. I am not a weird student, it's just that you are a really weird teacher." Immediately followed by another student saying (with a post it full of fraction conversions [correct ones I might add] stuck to his forehead that he had named 'post-tache' and a ridiculously big grin) "I LOVE our weird class."
Well, I love my weird class too, and I LOVE being a weird teacher!

Surrender

Let go.

Of all the anger and the fear

God will hold you

He will dry the tears

Resentment grows and cuts you off

Friends drift away

The pain begins to show

Just let go

Of all the anger and the fear

God will hold you

He will dry the tears.

They are gone, beyond your reach

So much unsaid

So unsure, so alone

Just let go

Of all the anger and the fear

God will hold you

He will dry the tears.

Step of Faith

The darkness is secure

No light pierces this blackness

Hands grope

Nothing

Careful

Balance

One foot reaches forward into the unseen

Nothing

The time has come

Stand or step?

Stand or step?

Deep breath

Exhale fear

Step

Falling?

The ground is solid

A light glows in the distance

A glimpse of a path

Faith well rewarded

The Journey

We all imagine ourselves the hero or heroine

In the story of our life

As rightly, of course, we should

Our daydreams give us burnished swords

We conquer all forms of strife

And then we wake to the dreary situation of our own life

Realizing that knights in amour do not often gallop past our door

Not stopping to realize that even in daydreams adventures spring from crossroads

There are Choices to be made

Adventures to be had

Journeys to take

Make the leap

Step out and start your journey

You never know where the road might take

Joy

In the smile of a child,

in the touch of the breeze,

in the first rays of light,

in the crash of the seas

There is a power we cannot quite grasp

A silent surrender

A joy beyond compare

A moment we know that God is surely there.

Intro that I used in my class last year to begin the study of the Old Testament ... it was a bit deep for the 11 year olds, but I still like it...

This book is not like other books that you read that are fun enjoyable tales with interesting characters, plot twists, and a bit of a moral if you dig real deep. It is not a how-to, or a comedy, a romance, or an adventure. It is not History, or Medicine, Commerce, or Ethics. No, this book is ALL of that but it is much, much more. It is truth. It is life. It is how all of this came to be and how all of this will end. It is the beginning and the end, what was and what is yet to come. It is instruction for how to live your life and an introduction to He who knit you together in your mother’s womb. This book is a book you could read a thousand times and never glean all of the wisdom that it carries. If you choose to read this book read well, look deep, and do not be deceived by those who will try to tell you that they fully understand its deep mysteries. 

Why then should you undertake such a task? Why delve into a book you will never fully understand? The weight of the world is on your shoulders. Come, meet the only one who can bear that burden. Start the journey that will lead you beyond the confines of this world and beyond the borders of this life.

Enter here.

The Overly Dramatized Journal of My Life - July 22, 2009

Sarcasm? Check! Rambly Rant? Check! Embarrassingly Dramatic? Check! ...Enjoy!
Disclaimer: This was almost 2 years ago now, and Bekah, I LOVE YOU. :) Just keep that in mind as you read...
Oh, and Disclaimer #2 - this was the day before my birthday... aka: traditionally my most over dramatic day of the year...

Pacing the room, thoughts, ideas, fears, swirling around my head. Productivity is at an all time low. A week and a half to go; this is not the time to be unproductive, and it is certainly not the time to admit to being scarred. But hey, however silly it may sound, you try moving half way across the world, by yourself, completely alone, for a year. Try packing everything you could possibly want/need in the next year into two suitcases and leaving everything else behind, not knowing for sure if you will ever come back.  This possibility had always been there. But until recently it had been quite easy to shove it aside and laugh it off. As time keeps plodding on and pushing that date ever closer however, all sorts of things seem to be more possible and more likely. I suppose this is what being paranoid feels like. I’ve never felt this way before. Usually I am a happy person, somewhat optimistic about my chances. I’m sure I will get through this. I have to get through this.

This trip is just the last in a long list of anxieties right now however. The day before I leave my little sister is getting married. Yes, I said the day before I leave. Yes she is too young to be getting married. No I am not thrilled at having to stand up in the front wearing a dress for thirty minutes of my life with people looking at me and judging me and saying ‘wow, someone needs to learn to stand still’ or ‘that is really not her color’ or whatever else they will be whispering about this event for the next year. In addition to getting the joyous honor of being forced into a dress and made to stand in front of a church full of people, I get the additional honor of debuting my limited vocal skills and humiliate myself in yet another way. At least the audience should not run out of conversation topics any time soon. Oh, and that is not the end of the honors bestowed upon me. Nope. I also get to be the most highly honored of those forced to stand in front. Yep. The Maid of Honor.  They got one thing right when they came up with that term. I’ve been cleaning everything from scraping sidewalks to scrubbing toilets for the last month in preparation for all of the guests arriving. Plus there are parties to plan and prizes to buy and gifts to purchase and details to organize. I’m so honored by these proceedings that I would almost consider paying my sister to elope. Now I know you think I’m being harsh and self centered and overly dramatic; well, I am. But before you condemn me for that let’s look at the last rant that you so eloquently penned or spoke the last time you were peeved about something. We are all dramatic in our hour.

Right, so rant about wedding, check, evaluate stress level, check. Back on topic. So, my sister is getting married as I have mentioned and this happens to be taking place right before I leave which of course means that focusing on my impending doom is a selfish waste of time when there are bows to tie and mints to mold. This has not been so entirely helpful on the sisterly love front as I have tended to have a mini volcanic explosion/meltdown on average every two days when I feel the need to tell my sister off for making my life more difficult. This is compounded also by the absence of my brother during these proceedings. He happens to be out risking his brilliant, sensible, patient head to protect this country full of lazy ingrates.  And of course, the military, being what it is, he does not get the option of coming home to be equally honored by this mass chaos called a wedding, or to bid adieu to myself, or to resume his place as the buffer between my sister and I. In all honesty his absence contributes a great deal to these mini volcanic episodes. It is ridiculous how much a brother can be missed.