There is a lot of truth to that statement. I know many people who don't know when to quit. They work, stress about work, finally agree to take a night off and spend it talking about work, etc... we all know the type. Now it is possible to enjoy your work so much that you look forward to going every day (or almost every day anyway), but, what these 'all work' people don't realize is that in order to look forward to going to work you actually have to step away from it, not just physically, but mentally too. You need those off times where you think, and talk about other topics, have other interests, enjoy other parts of your life. In order to be well balanced you need a multifaceted life where not all of your thoughts, energy, time, passion, and attention is focused on your career. Now I'm not saying that having a purpose or goal to your life is bad. You can move in the direction of your calling (pursue your vocation) while still taking a moment to enjoy the here and now. God has given us not just a divine purpose and calling, but he has aloud us to be surrounded by people who care about us (or at least by people who would be willing to care about us if we give them a chance), and positive enjoyable pastimes. He has given us talents, passions, traits that are not solely for what we see as our vocation or our career (even for those who are lucky enough to combine the two).
I'm rambling. I'm well aware of that, and I must say, you were warned, but think about it. When you think back to all of the moments that are unforgettable, the moments that matter, that made a difference in your life, how many of them involved work? How many of those moments were arrived at by sitting in a room by yourself engrossed in paperwork, spending hours grading assignments that no one cares about?
So, to all those 'all work' types out there: chill out! Take a break! Enjoy your weekend! And notice, the world will keep spinning even though you stopped for breath. Notice also that life is suddenly a lot more fun, full of possibilities, colors, sights, sounds. Let go of the arrogance of pretending that you are in control and enjoy the journey. The world will keep on turning (until it doesn't) and there is very little that you can do about it. The sun will continue to rise, and set. Time will tick past measuring the span of your life. So go, make those seconds, minutes, hours, days, years... count. Savor each minute, and make it matter. Cultivate those moments that are unforgettable.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Grading
I find it sad that the only way we can motivate students to learn is by assigning them a letter or number that compares them with everyone else. Now I do not blame the students for this. No, actually, I blame the educational system currently in place. Students are trained from a young age to put forth exactly as much effort as is necessary to get that elusive A/E/100 (whatever system you use). Putting forth more effort is 'commendable' but they come to realize pretty soon that there is a cap on our expectations of their behavior/competence/effort/knowledge and that going beyond that rarely if ever actually impacts them positivity. We have trained them to rely so heavily on extrinsic motivations (points for good behavior, good grades for achievement...) that they cease to be motivated intrinsically.
That's about as long as I can focus on one topic today (another rant topic maybe)...
That's about as long as I can focus on one topic today (another rant topic maybe)...
Monday, January 24, 2011
Why?
Nothing is done without a reason. I do mean nothing. You eat because you are hungry, or because it sounds good, because you are bored, because you feel you have to, etc... the reasons are practically endless, but there is always a reason. The same applies to all other actions. When talking to a child today who was in trouble again for swearing at other students in class I asked her why she felt the need to act this way. She was completely confused. "I don't know, I just ... I just did it today." Well, untrue first of all since she does something very similar every day, but honest in that she has no idea. Strange that we know ourselves so little that we do not even understand our own motivation for day to day reactions and decisions.
Why. One word, and one of the first ones children seem to learn, and yet some of the most challenging questions to answer. I'm not talking about the 'Why is the sky blue?' questions (though that is admittedly more challenging to accurately answer than it appears at first glance). I'm more referring to 'Why do you believe the things that you believe?' 'Why do you say the things that you say ; especially the things that you immediately regret saying?' 'Why do you love the people that you love?' 'Why are you the person you are right now?'
Getting a bit too existential? Possibly?
The point is we need to get to know ourselves a bit better. The problem is that we seldom take the time to look at ourselves honestly and truly ask the difficult questions.
Why. One word, and one of the first ones children seem to learn, and yet some of the most challenging questions to answer. I'm not talking about the 'Why is the sky blue?' questions (though that is admittedly more challenging to accurately answer than it appears at first glance). I'm more referring to 'Why do you believe the things that you believe?' 'Why do you say the things that you say ; especially the things that you immediately regret saying?' 'Why do you love the people that you love?' 'Why are you the person you are right now?'
Getting a bit too existential? Possibly?
The point is we need to get to know ourselves a bit better. The problem is that we seldom take the time to look at ourselves honestly and truly ask the difficult questions.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Some Thoughts on Parenting
Most people would start out by saying that they aren't here to tell you how to raise your kids. Well, someone has to do the telling at some point...
I have become convinced that most of the problems that we recognize as belonging to the younger generations have a direct correlation to how they are raised. Parenting styles DO effect how the child turns out.
Bribes work, but only short term, they work until you hand over the bribe or the child becomes convinced that they will not receive it. In short, bribes are ineffective. They have use on rare occasions when short bursts of heightened motivation are necessary. They should NOT be part of the every day routine. What they teach your child is that their must be some for of extrinsic motivation for every action. You do something only if you are going to get something you want in return. Somethings should be done without expecting a reward.
Consequences work, but only when enforced. Consistency is a MUST! If you aren't going to follow through, then don't threaten to. Your child knows when you are lieing. Not a pretty thing to be teaching them.
The punishment should fit the crime. Enough of this 'your grounded' for every single offense. What does that teach them really? They drop and break something = they earn the money necessary to replace it. They behave in a rude way towards someone = they apologize and practice appropriate behaviors. They challenge your authority = they get to spend some time researching what life is like for children who don't not have the shelter and protection of parents who care about them.
Chores are good for children (and adults). We all would love to be lazy and let someone else do the cleaning. But in addition to fighting against the laziness each of us need to be held responsible for the messes that we make. It is a simple and tangible way of teaching cause and effect that will greatly help the child in later life. You drop something on the floor and you will eventually have to pick it back up. When this lesson involves food time factors enter the equation too. You pick up the dropped pizza today...takes a minute or two to clean up. You pick it up next week... might take an hour or two to scrape congealed tomato sauce from the carpet. These simple life lessons can translate into economic and political lessons later in life.
Pets are good for children. Research has been saying for years that animals can be a positive impact on a child's development. Not only does it teach the child responsibility to have to remember to feed and clean up after another living being, but the relationship that can form between animal and child can be an incredibly close bond. This friendship not only teaches the child to value all life (not just human (or more accurately, not just their own)) but also can be a boon to the child in family upheavals, times when friends become foes, and those dark nights when the monsters certainly must be inhabiting the closet.
Answering a child's questions with 'because I said so' is lazy. If you don't actually have a reason for them to be doing something then you probably should rethink demanding that they do it. If you have a reason but do not think it appropriate to share at this point in time just tell them that. Better yet, tell them it is a surprise and they will find out later!
TV rots their brains. There is no reason children need to watch TV. The occasional family movie night is fun, and a great way to bond with the kids, but in day to day life, UNPLUG IT! There are far more productive ways for them to be spending their time. Go outside, explore nature (biology and earth science will appreciate this life lessons when it comes time to be learned) ride your bike, throw a ball, swing (physics will make a lot more sense), read a book (fiction AND non fiction!), spend time experiencing life rather then watching other people make a mess out of theirs.
No child under the age of 11 should ever need a cell phone. I'm being generous with 11 and allowing that in Middle School sometimes it can be helpful (though really, still unnecessary). If you don't know where your Elementary age child is without calling them then their is a problem. Where they are going after school, who is picking them up, what after school activities are going to be happening...all of that should be decided before they head out the door to school. Sit down in the morning with them and go over the day's plan. It is a great way to teach them organization, scheduling, and accountability! Sure, plans change sometimes, but your elementary age son/daughter should not be anywhere without an approved adult nearby. And, presumably, in this day and age, that adult will have a phone of some kind.
I have become convinced that most of the problems that we recognize as belonging to the younger generations have a direct correlation to how they are raised. Parenting styles DO effect how the child turns out.
Bribes work, but only short term, they work until you hand over the bribe or the child becomes convinced that they will not receive it. In short, bribes are ineffective. They have use on rare occasions when short bursts of heightened motivation are necessary. They should NOT be part of the every day routine. What they teach your child is that their must be some for of extrinsic motivation for every action. You do something only if you are going to get something you want in return. Somethings should be done without expecting a reward.
Consequences work, but only when enforced. Consistency is a MUST! If you aren't going to follow through, then don't threaten to. Your child knows when you are lieing. Not a pretty thing to be teaching them.
The punishment should fit the crime. Enough of this 'your grounded' for every single offense. What does that teach them really? They drop and break something = they earn the money necessary to replace it. They behave in a rude way towards someone = they apologize and practice appropriate behaviors. They challenge your authority = they get to spend some time researching what life is like for children who don't not have the shelter and protection of parents who care about them.
Chores are good for children (and adults). We all would love to be lazy and let someone else do the cleaning. But in addition to fighting against the laziness each of us need to be held responsible for the messes that we make. It is a simple and tangible way of teaching cause and effect that will greatly help the child in later life. You drop something on the floor and you will eventually have to pick it back up. When this lesson involves food time factors enter the equation too. You pick up the dropped pizza today...takes a minute or two to clean up. You pick it up next week... might take an hour or two to scrape congealed tomato sauce from the carpet. These simple life lessons can translate into economic and political lessons later in life.
Pets are good for children. Research has been saying for years that animals can be a positive impact on a child's development. Not only does it teach the child responsibility to have to remember to feed and clean up after another living being, but the relationship that can form between animal and child can be an incredibly close bond. This friendship not only teaches the child to value all life (not just human (or more accurately, not just their own)) but also can be a boon to the child in family upheavals, times when friends become foes, and those dark nights when the monsters certainly must be inhabiting the closet.
Answering a child's questions with 'because I said so' is lazy. If you don't actually have a reason for them to be doing something then you probably should rethink demanding that they do it. If you have a reason but do not think it appropriate to share at this point in time just tell them that. Better yet, tell them it is a surprise and they will find out later!
TV rots their brains. There is no reason children need to watch TV. The occasional family movie night is fun, and a great way to bond with the kids, but in day to day life, UNPLUG IT! There are far more productive ways for them to be spending their time. Go outside, explore nature (biology and earth science will appreciate this life lessons when it comes time to be learned) ride your bike, throw a ball, swing (physics will make a lot more sense), read a book (fiction AND non fiction!), spend time experiencing life rather then watching other people make a mess out of theirs.
No child under the age of 11 should ever need a cell phone. I'm being generous with 11 and allowing that in Middle School sometimes it can be helpful (though really, still unnecessary). If you don't know where your Elementary age child is without calling them then their is a problem. Where they are going after school, who is picking them up, what after school activities are going to be happening...all of that should be decided before they head out the door to school. Sit down in the morning with them and go over the day's plan. It is a great way to teach them organization, scheduling, and accountability! Sure, plans change sometimes, but your elementary age son/daughter should not be anywhere without an approved adult nearby. And, presumably, in this day and age, that adult will have a phone of some kind.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
New Year - New Thoughts
As time goes rushing on we are faced with a choice, or several more accurately. We can cling to what was, race feverishly towards what may be, or embrace what is. So embrace this new year for what it is, an adventure. Moment by moment, step by step, with only a few feet at a time illuminated before you. Only God knows where the next step will take you. Take the leap, live the moment, make a difference, and watch the ripples of each action expand outward in an interwoven dance. Move forward, changed, not clinging to the past, not racing towards the future, but enjoying the journey, one step at a time.
As you make your resolutions this year throw out the mundane, tired, bored resolutions. No more resolutions about working out more often, getting more sleep, loosing or gaining weight; try a resolution that is a bit more inspiring. Find a cause you care about, or create one. Give your passion, energy, and enthusiasm a chance to add some direction and purpose to your life.
As you make your resolutions this year throw out the mundane, tired, bored resolutions. No more resolutions about working out more often, getting more sleep, loosing or gaining weight; try a resolution that is a bit more inspiring. Find a cause you care about, or create one. Give your passion, energy, and enthusiasm a chance to add some direction and purpose to your life.
Introduction to Rambling
One thing to get straight right away, this blog is not intended to make sense. This and the following posts are in no specific order, do not tell a story, and in general are complete nonsense. Now that we have that out of the way...
Let the ramblings begin.
Let the ramblings begin.
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