A Rant From The Past

Digging through some old files I found this rant about dating. Hmmm... Melodramatic? Yes! Grains of truth in there? Yes! Looked like a rambling that might as well be shared.

What I have learned about dating:

They (you know the mysterious 'they' that always seem to know everything and try to tell you how to live your life) always say that you have to wait and when a man wants it he will make it happen. They always say that if you try to force it then it won’t work out. They always say that if you are too forward no one will want to date you.

Observation of reality says differently. 

If a man really wants it he will make it happen: First of all how many men do you know that actually know what they want? Second, how many men do you know who get up off their butts and do more than casually stare? Apparently this statement is only true for the women who give men something to want. Another words, if you want a man to want you enough to make it happen, you first have to MAKE him want you (and you all know more or less what I mean there) and then you have to make yourself almost unattainable so that he actually has to work to get what you almost handed him before. It’s a sick little cycle and as always leaves women manipulating and dominating while leaving men with the illusion that they are entirely in control. Deception is a huge part of the 'game' since the woman must always be very careful to leave that illusion of control with the man because if he figures out that he is being manipulated and controlled he is gone!
Well, if he doesn’t want to be manipulated then maybe he should start looking for the girls that aren’t trying to manipulate him. AKA the ones who smile, say hi, and move on with their life. Or, better yet, the ones who don’t even know he exists.

If you force them it won’t work out: Basically covered this already. If you are out right domineering it won’t work. But if you are not skilled in subterfuge it will probably not even start to begin with.

If you are too forward no one will want to date you: Oh yes, because so many of the wall flowers manage to get dates. If you want a date you have to put yourself out there. You have to flirt till you are nauseating yourself, and you have to reel them in like a fish. But, once again, for no reason are you ever to let them see the fishing pole. So, be forward in a pathetic, flirty, weak, whining way and pretend to have no spine and they will go gaga. Be forward in as much as you might as well choose the man because he is to lazy and caught up in watching and touching as many as possible to ever actually choose one. So do it for him. Throw yourself (not at him) right in front of him and then pray he doesn’t trample you in quest of the next flirty smile.

Sick sick sick.

I do not think this is an overly cynical view of men (of course there are exceptions; shining beacons of manhood that actually have a brain and a heart and sometimes even choose to use them).

Every friend I know that is married had to do some of this (thankfully some less than others) and every friend I know that is single has refused to do at least parts of this. Women have liberated themselves to the point of willingly locking themselves in gilded cages because while we can be presidents we cannot ‘wear the pants’ in a relationship (at least not overtly). 

Well, if any of you men are reading this you have two options. 1 – Step up and ‘be a man’ don’t make the women throw themselves at you. And don’t make them manipulate you. Have the courage to put your heart out there. We have to do it every day. 

OR 2. Suck it up and admit that you don’t have the courage to be the initiator and let the girl do so without subterfuge. Otherwise you are perpetuating the sick cycle that has led to more divorces than ever before in history. And I’m not just talking about statistics, I’m talking about broken hearts, broken homes, broken kids who don’t know how to rationalize away the fact that they have had 3 daddies already or 4 moms. 

This is a problem.